I feel like I need to be a bit more honest with you all. As I'm sure you've noticed by now, my posting has been rather sporadic in recent months. There has been an enormous amount of things going on in my personal life that has unfortunately creeped into my blogging life as well. Several weeks ago, I wrote about how I've been feeling uninspired, and a lot of you guys offered some great advice on gaining inspiration. I've been in a very strange rut for what seems like a very long time now, and it all boils down to something new I've been dealing with: anxiety.
Reflecting on my life, I'm coming to the realization that anxiety has been a constant presence in my life, although I've never called it that. Admitting anxiety issues essentially meant admitting defeat, something my pride would never allow. There have been several anxiety triggers this year- the death of my dog, stress about my future, and, more recently, the death of my grandmother earlier this morning. While on the outside I may seem cool, calm, and collected, just know that on the inside I'm probably freaking out. I've even been having trouble sleeping at night, because my anxiety keeps me awake and contemplating things that are ultimately out of my control. My anxiety also has the ability to make my physically ill, although thankfully Pepto Bismol is able to help me in that department. I haven't spoken to my doctor about this because I don't want to be prescribed a strong medication that will alter me in a negative way... I want to try to cope with this in the most natural way possible.
I know that this is a very unusual post to be reading from me. After all, this is a blog about beauty. But at its core, Brikasia is a place for me to express myself, and at the present moment, writing about my latest struggle is helping me, for better or for worse, cope. I am absolutely terrible at expressing my feelings, and my finger has been hovering over the "Publish" button for several hours already. But I am going to publish this post, regardless of what it will do to my traffic or other petty "blogger problems"-esque things, in the hopes that some of you have some tips on how to deal with anxiety issues. Thanks for sticking around, everyone. Truly! From the bottom of my heart. Sorry for getting so personal up in here.